Bea Parry-Jones, or you may very well have been introduced to her as Dulwich Mum, is one of the 40 bloggers that count in this country (according to the Times). A bit like Ricky Gervais at the Golden Globes last week, you sometimes don’t quite know where to look when you read her blog but sharp, clever and  v hilarious (I especially love her irreverent take on Johnny Boden ‘fashions’). Anyway, I shall let my dear friend Bea/ Dulwich mum speak for herself…… My favourite place by Bea Parry Jones (Dulwich mum) …. As a high achieving professional parents, it is essential to us that we excel at all things (dabs tear from eye). I refuse to allow my career poppets to suffer in any way as a result of the fact that I am a working mother (blows nose loudly). Yes, we are both busy people and have delegated every task possible to staff, but we are always there for our poppets (checks email on Blackberry).

It is all so incredibly stressful (clutches chest). Not only must I ensure that my progeny are dropped off, picked up, homework tasks and projects completed fine tuned, required musical instruments and music/rugby/football/cricket/swim/hockey/netball/cookery and ballet kit bags provided. Organic, nutritionally balanced diet and supplements are dispensed. The darlings are delivered to all manner of appropriate cultural outings, accompanied by an appropriate adult and desirable play companions, teeth brushed and their shoes polished! Further, I constantly strive to ensure that I am in top gear careerwise (have you noticed my new Smythson IT bag?), AND I am commited supporting my darling man with all of his super swizzy corporate entertaining (gasp)! We endeavour to keep all of our balls in the air (bottom lip wobbles). My own personal Captain of the Universe recently emailed a poem he had completed for our perfect son’s homework from his iPad during a board meeting in the Isle of Man. The poem was entitled “Fossil fuels”, and is enough to make one weep.

THOSE TEACHERS ARE HAVING A LAUGH AT OUR DAMN EXPENSE (stomps foot). On top of that, we all know that a man is only as faithful as the temptation that turns up under his nose, so I must ensure that I am the most tempting morsel on the plate (wails)… For that reason alone, my favourite place on the planet is The Grove, the five star hotel, golf and spa resort in Hertfordshire. Only 17 mins from Euston (who gives a rat’s corpse? I drive everywhere!) 3 minutes from the M25, hop in the four by four swathed in my cashmere Travelwrap and I am there in a flash. It is a “shoulders down” experience - aren’t I down with the kids (smirk)! The stresses and strains of running one capacious, luxury home has forced me to resist any suggestion that we should purchase an additional country house for weekend breaks. Sharing our home with staff is enough to provoke anxiety related hair loss. Can you imagine juggling an androgenous Bulgarian housekeeper, Polish cleaner and moody Latvian teenage aupair between houses (OHMYGOD!)? We like to think of The Grove as our country estate (smirk) but with far more agreeable staff.! An escape to the country when our household employees are revolting!

The outstanding childcare excites, stimulates and engages poppets of all ages even more than Disneyland Paris! Just ask tiny Max and Freya which they prefer – you will be amazed, they always beg to go to Anouska’s! There is an outstanding golf course for my darling man, sumptuous food (no arguments at all at meal times, seriously, not ever!), fine wines, and a chocolate fountain taller than my nine year old son and he is not small! The award winning Sequoia Spa is the place for me. I adore ESPA treatments, or lounging around reading the Sunday papers, calm in the knowledge that my every whim is catered for!

There is even a GHD straightening iron in the changing room at the gym! They think of everything…No, really! Actually, I am off to book another break now – they run all sorts of novel escapes, from super imaginatively themed Halloween breaks aimed at the poppets, to Bikini Boot Camps, Life Coaching breaks and Avant Ski! Well it is January. The only stress is what to chose!